I’m Back! What a Vacation…

I just rolled in from the beach late last night…and am already ready for another vacation. I needed a mini-vacation from vacation and now a post-vacation. If that makes any sense.

First of all, GPSs are horrible. My hubs and I plugged the beach address into our GPS Wednesday morning, all bright-eyed and ready for vacation. Once we hit the areas around DC, the damn thing started going haywire. Recalculating. Recalculating. Turn left. We turned left. Recalculating. Stay right and stay left. Done. Suddenly it looks like we’re driving over water and, once again, Recalculating. We finally got onto a smooth stretch of highway and then realized we somehow had ended up on an unmarked EZPass Expressway. We don’t have an EZPass. We turned off of the Expressway and – you guessed it – Recalculating. Then we hit DC itself and every major avenue or boulevard we needed was closed. Like how does that even happen? How can so many major roadways be under construction or closed all at once?

Somehow we finally made it to our hotel and by that time it was raining. We shrugged it off and went into the lobby, where the receptionist proceeded to tell us all about how safe our hotel is…although, she admitted, some guy did start beating the daylights out of his mom out front the other night. Good check-in story, right? We unloaded everything into our room and I went back to the lobby to ask a question. I had to get past a huge male housekeeper and when I said excuse me, his response was “No problem baby gurrlllll.”  Ew. We put a “Do not disturb sign” up as soon as I ran back to the room.

Despite rainy weather, my hubs and I did get some nice beach time in alone before leaving to meet my immediate, extended, and unofficially-adopted family at our yearly beach house.

The issue that arose next was that we were really close to our beach house…and no one else was. I looked high for the spare key. I looked low for the spare key. I looked between and under bushes, rocks, shells, buckets…no key. So we waited. And waited. And I took pictures of flowers in the dunes while my hubs made angry faces.

Finally my family arrived (it turns out the key was up in some rafters or something, wayyy out of my reach) and a flurry of unpacking ensued. From there it was basically the usual family vacation. There are always 15-18 people in the 4 bedroom townhouse, so it’s always a bit chaotic and definitely noisy. None of the doors inside the house lock. There are balconies on every level that we have scaled to reach other floors (maybe because while none of the inside doors lock, the ones to the balconies do…which means people get purposefully locked out on them). Things get left everywhere and we keep a tally of broken belongings every year. This year it’s my back. I’m a clutz and was on messy steps…next thing you know, I’m bouncing down the (carpeted) steps on my back. Oy.

Because there are so many of us that set up camp on the beach together, we hate to move with the tide and over the years we started digging a moat of sorts around us to absorb the tide as it came up. It’s a private beach so it’s all good and we’ve always been able to dig our little hearts out. Within the past few years, we realized that we could dig the moat…and step it up a little. Enter the now-yearly moat/beer-pong pit –

Kids love the giant holes to frolic in (which we do fill in before leaving so that no one is injured), adults love the game. Perfect. Although if we play with a cooler nearby, it inevitably leads to us trying something like this –

One of my cousins loves shenanigans and changes them from year to year. Last year she used clear packing tape to tape off doorways in the early mornings (cruel) and put angry bird tats on deep sleepers. This year she taped small signs like “I’m a twat” on the bottom of coffee mugs, taped up creepy photos of Nicholas Cage in the bathrooms and encased everybody’s phones in rubber bands. We could have bounced our phones off of the walls and they would’ve been fine. There were also a lot of games in addition to shenanigans. Oh Hell, What, Scrababble…We also played a lot of Cards Against Humanity while drinking. The drinking made it easier to explain to our parents what terms like “queefing” and “taint” mean – cringe.

My hubs and I got home last night at midnight after a long drive home. His sister was nearby at the drive-in with her 2-year old and came over around 1am to spend the night. I spent today shaking the sand out of my luggage and trying to keep an energetic toddler away from the vitamin shelf in our spare room. Needless to say, it was quite a week and now I feel like I need another to recuperate. However, I’m going to try my best to spend the week swatching and posting to make up for lost time – wish me luck!

Adventure Weekend! Adventuring in W.V

My parents decided to come visit me over Father’s Day weekend and then the whole family joined in! Well, not the whole family, but my brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, and grandma. So quite a bit of family. My aunt and uncle have an RV and love camping. It just so happens that my new home is near a big campground…which just so happens to be near an Adventure Center.

Mom knows I’m up for anything once (well, almost anything) and she started crafting a bucket list a year or so back. She saw camping and the Adventure Center as bucket list opportunities and started conspiring with my aunt. My grandmother went white-water rafting a few years ago and was like pffff, child’s play, I can do it again no problem, get on my level. She’s an asthmatic who always has pneumonia, always has some health issue going on, and always has a hundo on hand to puff away on. Crazy grandma. We couldn’t let her out-man us…we signed up for a white-water rafting expedition and zip-lining. If you can’t tell, the guys had very little say in any of the plans.

My parents showed up Friday right as I got home from work and we headed over to the campground to meet up with everybody else. We basically just spent Friday night stuffing our faces around a fire. I don’t really like marshmallows unless they’re in s’mores, but I was really jonesing for a beach marshmallow. (“Beach marshmallow?” you may be asking. Yes. As in – I like my marshmallows with a nice, golden, even tan.) However, it turns out that I struggle to get that golden glow after one too many Lime-A-Ritas…

Charcoal anybody?

Saturday brought on white-water rafting! It was a clear, sunny day and perfect for rafting according to our guide. We signed in, filled out waivers, and then listened to a guide tell us about how if our raft flipped we should not try to stand because our feet could get stuck in rocks and we might snap a leg in half. We were also told not to use our oars to beat one another, play light sabers, or sword fight. The company must have had some …interesting guests in the past, haha. Then we strapped on old, gnarly-looking life vests and helmets and away we went to the river!

Some poor soul named Josh was assigned to be our raft guide. Poor soul? Well my grandma was grumbling about her knees. My cousin was pretending his oar was a gun. My dad was asking anything and everything about the local geography and towns. My brother kept dropping his oar as far into the water as possible without letting go for “depth-checks.” My aunt was giving her own rafting directions to us. Oy vey.

It was a fun time though! There were only a few sets of Levels 1-3 rapids. One raft near us went bouncing over a rapid and everyone went flying out but the guide. Some poor girl got whisked away by the current right away and kept trying to stand. We were all like “NOOO, YOUR LEGS WILL SNAP!” and the guides were yelling for her to swim on her back to a rock so the current didn’t carry her out of reach. Other than that bit of excitement, we just kind of drifted peacefully along and paddled every now and then. We stopped once by a bank in the woods for a break. I felt a tickle on my ankle and someone behind me yelled “Snake!!!” I kicked my leg out and it turns out it was just a guide tickling my ankle with a reed…poor guy almost took a heel to the face.

Sunday we went ziplining, although grandma opted out and my cousin backed out after the practice zip. Most of my family got ridiculously tangled up just putting the harnesses on and our one-on-one guide smelled a little boozy. I feared a little for our lives for those reasons alone, but I’m happy to report that we all made it out alive!

Out of the whole group, outsiders and my family, I was the only one who spun in circles while zipping down the line. My aunt said it must be because I’m bottom-heavy and I asked our guide what I needed to do to about my big ass sending me in circles. His suggestion? Get a smaller ass. Womp, womp – haha. It turns out I just needed to keep my holding wrist straight. Guess I can keep my big ass after all! It was a lot of fun zipping around in the tree-tops once I got the hang out it and I think it’d be fun to go again some time.

Don’t be deceived. This bridge sways while you walk – I got a little sea sick (or is it bridge sick?)

I’d say this Father’s Day weekend was a success! I got to spend time with my Daddy (and the rest of my family) and my mom and aunt got to check some things off of their bucket lists. If you are ever around an Adventure Center, I suggest you sign up for something and step outside of your comfort zone! It can be a little pricey but I think it’s worth it  🙂

What are some things on your bucket list??